It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I pour the whiskey from now on
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
