So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
