dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize