Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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