Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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