Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize