you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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