Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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