My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I understand Curling. That high.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
