Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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