PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
