She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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