3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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