Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you had me at cake vodka
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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