I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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