Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
