i think my mom watched the whole time
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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