I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize