yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
