Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
