Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
