Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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