Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
