i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Randomize
