3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
