lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize