farters have to be the big spoon...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
