Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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