i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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