Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
