Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
