hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
