guys are not supposed to queef...right?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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