lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She's the barista slut.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
