I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize