Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
