They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
