she sounds like chewbacca in bed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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