your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
