Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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