Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
