They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
