i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
