Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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