I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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