hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
