his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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