only you would photoshop your dick
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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