How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's never too late to be topless.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
