This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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