names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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