My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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