Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Everclear isn't food dammit
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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