but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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