bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize