I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I FOUND THE LEGS
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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