my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
