Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
