When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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