I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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