I think I died a long time ago.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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