A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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