glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
