Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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