Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
