I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Michael Bay diarrhea
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
