i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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