I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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