Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
