True but thats because hes a fetus.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
nutella sex= disaster
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
