can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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