dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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